Jingle Zell
by highcaliberrageous
Summary: another New Years T&Y fic for eveybody out there. When he fails to show up home for the christmas celbration due to last minute shopping and bad weather, anticipation and stress almost bring his beloved near death. Will someone save the holidays?
1. The Gathering

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Square Enix EZ sony whatever blah blah yakkkety schmacketyzzzZZZZzzZZ!

JINGLE ZELL!! by HCR

The Gathering

She hadn't stopped moving for the past three hours straight. All that Lulu and Rikku could do was sit there and watch her in rapid motion. It was more than enough to outdo the energizer bunny, and probably secure a spot in the book of world records. Martha Stewart would abandon cooking if she saw what type of storm Yuna was cooking up. 

Her brown hair flung in every which direction as she turned to regard one dinner tray and then the next, panicking if she had even seen a single puff of smoke rise out from the oven. There was no need to remind her of the time, She would probably finish with hours to spare, but other cooks could faint or blackout under such pressure. 

Squall and Seifer had learned their lessons for peeking into the kitchen uninvited and almost trying out one of her chewy Christmas cookies. They were reprimanded with a hard slap across the backs of their hands with a wooden ladle that meant business. Seifer swore to himself as he jumped around rubbing his 'injured' hand that the wrath of a katana, he would have preferred even more. At least he wouldn't even feel the pain. 

" Whoa. Looks like someone seems to be losing their temper." Squall commented as he laughed casually and challenged her with his eyes daring to reach over and grab another cookie. He didn't even realize what sort of example he was setting for the children. but she gave him that look. A look that simply said " Keep it up and I'll beat you like a school teacher."

"Ooh goodie! Please do!" Seifer jumped up and clapped his hands begging with excitement in his eyes. Yuna was on the verge of undoing her apron and beating him silly with her gloves, but he continued. Finally Squall stopped him.

" Now that, Seifer was really low...anyhoo Come hither my 'arch nemesis. We cannot upset the 'master chef's' concentration. For such meddling could cause the destruction of the world as we know it." He joked and they both walked out laughing. Lulu turned to Rikku who merely shrugged and they joined the others in the living room.

Wakka chased his crawling son around the living room amused by the little bugger's interest in the toy truck he bought him a year ago. Cloud and Cid stopped in the middle of their Christmas prank phone calls to old friends just for the sake of getting on TV to send a fake money pledge to the Comedy Central telethon. Auron sang peacefully to himself to the sound of Nat King Cole renditions of Christmas songs. His voice wasn't all that bad. In fact he had just gotten back from a performance in the park and was due to perform one more number for the New Years Eve celebration in the city plaza. Tifa warmed up to his voice.

" Wow I never knew you had it in you." She stared up at him with serene eyes while moving closer on the sofa

" That's because you never bothered to watch." He reminded her without even turning his head. He looked down and pretended to pay more attention to Rover as he stroked the dog's fur and rubbed his nose. 

" I'm sorry work's been a pain, but I promise I'll be there in the front row on New Years Eve." It was in her voice. Soft, deep, and meaning it with every word.

" For real?" He turned to ask her, raising an eyebrow.

" SURE SHE WILL!" The shadow fell over both of them as the blond interrupted. She will be cheering her heart out for you while she stands next to 'MOI' a.k.a. 'HER boyfriend. We clear on that geezer?" Cloud crossed his arms and exchanged Auron's causal look with a sharp eye of his own. Auron sighed and rolled his eyes.

" I was going in for the kill man. Why on earth did you hafta ruin it for me?" He asked Cloud with not one bit of shame.

" Kill? KIILLL!!??? Now you lis-"

Auron laughed as Cloud's temper reached 100 degrees Celsius, and made his face red as a beet with anger. Tifa rushed out of her seat and over to calm him down.

" Honey. Please stop. You have to understand he was just joking." 

"-but THAT old fart has no respect for me-" He pouted to his girl then turned to Auron " You listen here Burt Reynolds. I got no time for mofos like you that can't keep their dick in their pants around another man's woman see?...I....eerrrgh....I so wanna just strangle y-"

" Pistols at dawn?" Auron supplied. He waited to see if the kid had no idea what he was getting so fussy about in the first place.

" MAGIC MISSLES at dawn bitch!"

"uh Cloud?" Tifa looked over to her left

"MAGIC MISSLES up your friggin ass! I've got half a mind to-"

"Cloouud. Heeellllo?" 

He finally stopped when he saw the kids looking up at him silently. There was no making an excuse for that one. Tifa gave him a curt look as the young'ns celebrated the new words that they learned all the way upstairs.

" Oh he's a real natural with the kids." Auron commented sarcastically.

" Shaddap you fuck." Cloud silenced him as the children were unable to hear much to the disappointment of everyone else in the house except Squall and Seifer who were still laughing and Yuna who was too busy off somewhere else to care.

"Now now Schnookums (I can't spell it properly. So leave it alone) you shouldn't be laughing." Rinoa scolded ever so softly.

"Will ya knock off the maternal act already?" He asked her with a perturbed voice then added with a bit more stubborn sensitivity".......and don't call me 'schnookums'."

The usual tensions amongst the group turned into laughs in under a few seconds. They knew that all of them had traveled for too long and too far to come home and bicker. Hugs were exchanged, and the aura of happiness had finally come over them all before they returned to the their usual chit chat. There was only one person who couldn't join in their happiness. She worked madly in the kitchen hoping to block out the fact that she was feeling a little less than joyful, but the truth could not be hidden from two pairs of eyes. Rikku went back to see her cousin for fear that Squall or Paine going to console her would result in them being torn to bits.

The atmosphere was cloudy and somewhat dirty in a kitchen full of clutter from heavy preparing but featured a few well done sweets and dinner specials for what was going to be a big day tomorrow. Under the brightness of the kitchen lights, a pale hand reached over a pot on the stove to drop in the final ingredient for the night. Then an exhausted young woman with moisture across her face divided between the few tears she tried to hold back and the perspiration across her neck finally gave up cooking. She rubbed under her sweater around the wide collar of her shirt to dry herself but to no success. Surprisingly, it was not the work that had her upset and weary on what would be any other year, one of her most joyful times of the year. Often such things would happen when a persons' world was nowhere near complete. Reaching to pull up her long skirt from it's slit she rubbed her bare legs longingly, hoping to restore a small bit of comfort as the person who usually had that task listed in his job description was not there to do so. It would all suggest that the last few weeks before Christmas Eve were not all that merry to her. She got up slowly to straighten out a few things but then walked over to the window looking out to the blue evening sky with heavy anticipation. Time passed and she had expected him to finally go out of his way to impress her with something more than his usual wit, jokes, kisses, and simple gifts. This Christmas she wanted something more than Victoria's Secret. It was interesting last year but not now. She wanted nothing more than the one she loved and hoped that he would come home to her after a long time of disagreements to finally commit to her, and return home with a certain object signifying his dedication to her. Shaking it off, she tried to realize that the odds of it ever happening were in truth a million to one. Careful not to slip with her stylish boots on a freshly mopped floor she gathered all her cleaning utensils and slowly walked out of the kitchen.

"Hey Yunie." a familiar soft voice entered the kitchen and stopped her dead in her tracks. She looked up to stare with pale, dead eyes at a cousin who (waving her hands to affirm that she came in peace) greeted her with a friendly smile, and attempted to console her after dusting off the unfriendly mist of a rare kitchen mess from her suit jacket and orange skirt.

" Work getting you down?"

" Don't even start." The monstrous administrator of the kitchen rolled her eyes towards the ceiling diverting her face away from her nosy cousin.

" Hey" Rikku came in to stop and pat her back "This is supposed to be a season of joy. How come I'm not reading any on your face? Everyone else has thrown away their stress for a few hours." She asked and offered another one of her unavoidable smiles, prone to draw another smile out of most people that she talked to.

" Doesn't mean that I have to be happy to fit the crowd." Yuna told her off and began to collect more of her things, pretending to not even pay attention to Rikku. She was as cold as ice, and refusing to give in to the charm of Christmas. It would only be awhile before the words 'Bah Humbug' slipped out of her mouth, and they did.

" Honey. You are not Scrooge. For the record okay? Now come on out and lets listen to Cloud and Cid's dumb campfire jokes and stories before you go mentally unstable again and swear that three ghosts came to visit you in the night or something." She put her arm around Yuna to guide her out of the kitchen. Yuna stopped right there staring down at the floor.

"Rikku." Her voice transformed into a soft pout as she turned up to look at her faithful cousin.

"Yeah?" Rikku answered.

"Why can't he just come home?"

"I've got faith. Come super blizzard or the apocalypse your beloved idiot will be at the doorstep waiting for you now dry those eyes.


	2. Move it along Grandma!

Jingle Zell

(I know. It's a pretty short chapter but please do review.)

Move it along Grandma!

Trying to get out of heavy traffic in the bustling commercial district of the city with more miles to go to reach the bridge, a shiny black Audi sat trapped in between an armada of taxis and a few other commuter vehicles. Christmas lights sprinkled over the names of stores and the giant tree display in the plaza as last minute emergency shopping caused pedestrians to overfill the sidewalk. Gift bags hung from many hands. eyes in awe panned over the sight of the busiest city atmosphere ever witnessed. It was even busier than a typical workday, and there was hardly any business pressing. Too many people procrastinated during gift shopping season.

" LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!! LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!!" Two voices sang along while banging their heads inside the car much to the annoyance of the cab driver behind them. Tidus stopped to imitate the shouting man's accent, and almost felt like rewarding such an artistic usage of curse words with his middle finger. Him and a nervous Vincent bundled up in their winter suits and scarves after a long day of office work to forget about obligations with a little radio music. A ritual that they had just begun to celebrate after putting off for the longest time. After all, there was coming home and the party to think about. It was Christmas Eve.

" Hey shouldn't we be a bit more considerate?" Vincent suggested looking behind him and wondering if the cabbies anger would push to another level.

" He can scream all night for all I give a care." Tidus mumbled as he pressed the button for his window to come down and turned to shout back to the unsatisfied cabbie behind, still yelling for him to move it along despite the fact that it was the traffic far up ahead that was keeping the taxi from continuing on his extensive holiday trips.

"Must be a new driver. He probably doesn't get it." Vincent suggested

" Hey Osama! Shut the hell up!" Tidus yelled much to Vincent's surprise

" Okay now SOMEBODY went a LITTLE too far." He diverted his eyes in another direction as if to signify that he had no part in what his friend had just said. " Oooh detour!" He motioned to Tidus as he turned back up in his seat.

" Let's take it then."

"Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!"

Tidus stepped on the gas much to Vincent's nervous encouragement in their escape attempt from a pissed off driver that was almost about to step out of his car and give the two a piece of his mind. They burned rubber as the shiny hubcaps spun up a rainbow of colors reflecting from the environment of Christmas lights around them pulling out on the rough pavement. All the driver could see was an in your face license plate that read 'U R MI BTCH' Such youngsters usually failed to understand that you didn't drive up and talk trash to such people in the streets.

He rubbed his eyes minutes later while still stuck in traffic and ended up falling under the curse of horn honking his impatience with hundreds more drivers up ahead that had begun long before him. taking a few seconds to stare out at all of the holiday shopping rush made his stomach turn with guilt, but he hardly mentioned his failure to live up to his half of the bargain to anyone. The shame was too great. Every single person that he could see out in the cold mist was holding bags from one store or another. His mind flashed back to all of the fights. The most recent on stuck in his head deeper than anything he could remember. The loud sound of her banging her fist against her perfectly set dining table as her demanding eyes peered him down, but he refused to back down at all. He was much too thickhead to ever do something like that. She even had the chandelier trembling above their heads when he finally told her of his weekend activities. A football game and an after party at Hooters was not what she considered to be the greatest idea for a substitute weekend rather than quality time with a person who he said he loved but hadn't even seen in a week. What the heck were all those phone conversations with her for? 

He was finally beginning to see it all from her side. Scratching his hair as he tried to block the rest of her haunting pouts echoing throughout his mind, he switched the station looking to catch the sports headlines.

__

" And the Marlins seem to come up short as-"

" YES!"

__

" Also the Yankees haven't brought any strength out of-" 

"DAMN!"

Vincent looked upon his comrade with the most fearful eyes he had given him yet.

"...See, the thing that scares me is that you're sober-"

" I know, I know I'm acting weird it's just that I've been trying to find something else to get my mind off of-"

" There's no way you can do it." Vincent shook his head with assurance as he breathed out steam from the cold." Absolutelay no...friggin...way. I know you were lying when you said you got her a present too." He told him straight up with an accusing finger. A shocking revelation that sent Tidus far up in his seat with his eyes bulging as though a creature had bit him in the ass.

" HUH!? THE HELL? How'd you-"

" Calm down turkey. There's still time to make up for it. Victoria's Secret on your left." He pointed. The heavenly white and valentine color effect of the store reflected off of his face as he pointed to it.

" No. No." Tidus shook his head vigorously 

" Last chance man. You know that you haven't a clue what this girl really wants from you."

" It's just that...I always feel like such a pervert going in their store. Had I been in there any longer I probably would've been wearing a thong on my way out. Odd I tell you."

Vincent couldn't help but laugh at that one. He knew the exact answer to Tidus's problems as he had heard Yuna complain many times with her girlfriends behind Tidus's back.

" Okay. I understand perfectly m'man. Check this out. This is top secret info from the spy man yours truly. All you gotta do is go to.." He whispered while Tidus listened carefully.

" Perfect! That's genius!" Tidus slapped Vincent's back and they waited for another break in traffic then he got his car going with a little roar of victory but sadly they were kept a bit short of their goal because of a stubborn Cadillac that failed to speed up. 

" Great." Vincent sighed as he lowered his head

" Hey move it along Grandma!" It was a pretty obvious guess that he made concerning who was in the car ahead of them. They could barely see that crooked middle finger rise up just above the window to greet him back.


	3. Operation: Infiltrate the Kitchen

Jingle Zell

Operation: Infiltrate the Kitchen!

The camcorder's view was fuzzy but a few quick taps had it up and running clearly. Along with the blessed words of 'aw come on you piece of crap!'

" Seifer that isn't exactly what I would call a 'stealth' move." Squall warned in sharp whispers "Can it already!"

"Fine asshole." He whispered back as they tiptoed inside searching around for anything that they could grab, eat and run without making any more noise. Their dear wives had not noticed them sneaking out of a boring game of scrabble to look for a few Christmas sweets to indulge in but all it took was one simple foul up, and the fun was over.

Seifer giggled to himself, obsessed with the idea that after an afternoon of ladle beatings, he was still going to rob the very thing that Yuna would nearly faint over once she saw was gone. Her prize winning Christmas cookies. The type with the decorative icing on top. Always soft and warm with no friggin pecans on the inside. He could taste them already.

" You know this is somewhat odd." Squall stopped to reflect right in the middle of their infiltration.

" What the-? Oh great and you tell ME to be quiet." Seifer whispered as he was about to give up on Squall

" Dude were in our mid twenties. This is the type of stuff we did as kids. We could never ask matron so politely back then or even use the forlorn/sad eyes trick. As adults we shouldn't have to sink back to petty theft."

" Well speaking of matron, clearly she is not weak minded Foolish dung. Such kindergarten tricks do not follow the ways of the Jedi." He shushed Squall as he continued while lowly whistling his personal 'anthem' the star wars theme much to Squall's annoyance.

" Whatever-ulp! That's 190 million times in a row in one night I said it unconsciously. I wish Guinness records could send me prize money or something soon so I can clear off that debt." 

" Or so we can buy our own cookies." Seifer moaned. Squall chuckled.

" Man do I ever remember those days. When we were little kids we would argue with Matron just because she wouldn't let us have any donuts or hot dogs. I said when I have my own damned house and money I'll stuff a hundred éclairs down and right in front of her face just to let her know."

" I was so hungry." Seifer whimpered 

" Correction, you were too busy stuffing my head down the toilet, and making me refer to you as the drain reaper."

" Oh yeah I forgot about that." Seifer scratched his head" Good times man?"

After years of being bullied, he found very hard to agree on but looking at Seifer the way he was right then. Sheesh, even crybaby professional athletes never shed tears this bad.

"Yeah...good times." He finally gave up and hugged him. Seifer continued sniffling.

"All right dawg you gotta cut out the whimpering. It's an insult to my man status in a position like this.

meanwhile...in the living room.

"Pastafazooola is NOT an English word!" Wakka tried to calm him down but Barrett screamed it to the top of his lungs for the 39th time. His vocal chords were on the verge of running dry as sweat drops spread on his face. He wore the meanest grill on his face he had ever made in life.

" All right. Calm down before your blood pressure hits the roof Mr.T." Kiros warned

" That bit-woman ain't playin fair!" he slammed his hands upon the carpet, and they were smarting crimson red with pain afterwards.

" Besides were using the Spira dictionary." Wakka and Maroda noted simultaneously

" You mean were using Hyne dictionary." Rinoa corrected giving the others rude and uncaring looks as she leafed through to prove herself correct. Wakka moved over to whisper to her.

" But you said before we were using Spir-"

" Shush you dolt! Do you want to see me lose?"

" Well now that you mention it... "

" Why you little traitor!" 

Lulu and Rikku stared back and forth at an argument that was getting out of control. 

" Uhh. I'm going to see if I still left any of my things in the kitchen." Rikku nodded then ducked out

back in the kitchen...

There was no shame in it at all of course. Not when you were family, and that was a bond that gave her the right to a bite any time that she wanted. She hadn't eaten much for the longest time and deserved food more than the well built figures of the mischievous midnight snack thieves Squall and Seifer. She particularly fancied Yuna's Christmas cookies. A big improvement from last year and indeed award winning. No pecans though so it was a shame, and a bit too much icing, but who was she to be such a big critic? Food was food, and it was a better choice than what she had to undergo for purposes of diet the whole of last week so she was also betraying her doctor, but oh well. A person could always afford to break her obligations once in awhile without hurting anyone. She wouldn't even pig out either. It was just going to be one simple cookie.....

She flicked on the kitchen lights, confused as to the source of the blubbering noise.

The weekend that he ruined was the incident that brought it all to stand off. She didn't even know why she baked all twenty seven of them just the way he liked them. No pecans, his favorite icing, and all of the things that said 'him'. The project went an entire hour out of the way of her cooking. So she would still have quite a few things left to prepare. She looked at herself in the mirror and laughed. Like it would be very soon that he finally decided to come back. She knew that she was kidding herself.

They used to do so many things together in their first few years of marriage. Even when they didn't go on trips, bug each other at work or make home in the comfort of their own home all the time after an exhausting day. They would go through the more grueling moments as a duo. 


End file.
